Simon says something every day that leaves Matt or me—or both of us—in stitches. Sometimes it’s what he says, sometimes it’s the way he says it, and sometimes the humor is purely contextual and I feel guilty for laughing in front of him.
What he says: Here are a few recent examples of imitable Simon speak:
When the family gets ready to sit down for dinner at Jim and Evie’s: “Eat Party!” The party thing began New Year’s Eve, when I lamely offered up that we were having a “sleep party” to encourage to Simon to go to bed when Dave, Lisa, and Sophie were still here. Since then, if it’s social in any way, it’s a party. A couple of weeks ago, upon leaving a restaurant with friends, Simon waved to the building from the car and called out, “Bye bye eat party!”
The way he says it: Simon just learned “okay” and “I guess,” which come out as “uh-kay” and “ah Guess”. The part that cracks me up is that, to him, “uh-kay” and “ah guess” are completely synonymous with “yes.” With “okay,” there’s rarely a hitch. But with “I guess,” results may vary. As in, when after a long period of begging and crabbing on Simon’s part I relent and say, “Simon, would you like a fruit bar?” and he responds, “Yeah, I guess!” Or “Simon, is there poop in your diaper?” and he replies “I guess.”
Context: It’s inauguration day, and I have, for the first time since September 11, 2001, left the TV on for the entire day. Sometime after Simon came home from preschool and before he went down for his nap, George W. Bush took off in his helicopter as a private citizen bound for his new home in Texas. The crowd on the mall could be heard chanting, “Hey, hey, hey, good-bye,” and for many of the 1.8 million in DC that cold morning, W’s leaving was a highlight.* Now Simon was oblivious to all of this; he’s only 2. But he loves helicopters, so when the cameras showed Bush 43 taking off, Simon bounced on his heels, squealed, waved at the TV, and called out “Bye-bye hankah! Bye-bye hankah!” To which I silently replied, “If you only knew, honey. If you only knew…”
*Just for the record, while I was delighted to see Bush 43’s term come to an end, I was NOT delighted by the booing and chanting. I know many think you reap what you sow on that score, but an inauguration is a serious event even when joyous, and I think the calling out and booing is poor form.