Kid Amnesiac

They sent me home with this little form on Friday, titled “Tell Us about Your Child.” It offered more food for thought than I expected. Owing to my god-awful handwriting, I ended up typing the sucker and filling it in myself. What they gave me was a slightly crooked, nth-generation copy with a drawing of kiddos on the side. One thing I regularly find charming about KIP is how low-tech the place is. I swear, I know there is still a mimeograph machine back in the office somewhere.

 

Anyway,  here’s the form as I filled it out, along with a helpful and handy translation in case you need help reading between the lines.

 

Tell Us about Your Child

 

Child’s Name: Simon Whitworth     

What kinds of activities is your child most interested in?

 

Simon loves music, reading books, playing any game that involves a ball, running, playing with toy cars/trucks/buses/airplanes, and finger-painting. He’s also a bit of a Curious George addict, loves animals, loves playing with sand or water, and loves being outside.

 

Translation: He probably liked camp better than school.

 

What does your child do especially well?

Simon has good fine-motor skills and is a clear and voluminous talker. He’s good at catching and hitting balls, stacking blocks, turning pages in books, etc. He’s also very in tune with others’ emotions and understands and uses words like happy, sad, scared, cross, etc. correctly.

 

Translation: The kid never shuts up, and he’s going to tell you about being sad or point out others being cross all the time.

 

What people (family and friends) are the most important to your child?

Mom (Jessica Goldstein) and Dad (Matthew Whitworth); Bubbie (Rita Goldstein); Zadie and Nana (Ivan and Ruth Goldstein); Grandma and Papaw (Jim and Evie Whitworth); Uncle Dan (Whitworth); Aunt Bobbie (Whitworth); Uncle Perry and Aunt Tia, and cousin Nathan Goldstein; Uncle Steve and Aunt Stacy, and cousins Liv, Maddie, and Ben Goldstein; Friends Sophie Braunstein and Leah Shuhmann; long-time babysitter Molly Myatt; cats Percival (Percy) and Tristan (Boodle).

 

Translation: Look at all that local family. Lucky kid!

 

Does your child have any particular fears?

Simon can be timid around new people (but not women typically), and is sometimes afraid of insects and spiders. He has a very hard time dealing with loud noises including motorcycles, planes flying low, loud cars, fireworks, and crowds. He will never be the first to jump into a fray; he always stands back to observe first.

 

Translation: Bit of a chicken. Please be gentle.

 

Are there any particular likes and dislikes?

Simon loves animals (just not insects!), music, the color green, all wheeled toys, bubbles and balls, books, and Curious George. He dislikes loud noises, changes, crowds, and vegetables.

 

Translation: Please don’t plan a day where the kids take celery sticks outside to snack while observing spiders in their natural environment.

 

What observations do you have about your child as a learner?

Simon has a long attention span, a long memory and thrives on repetition. He will often read a story four times in a row before every nap or bedtime until he can recite it to us. He’s also very good at playing on his own, making up new ways to play with toys, and is just beginning to play “pretend” and engage in symbolic play. If Simon tries to do something and can’t, he’ll get upset and frustrated instead of moving on.

 

Translation: I have never thought about this question before. Ever. Not once. Still not sure if I answered it.

 

What are your goals for your child this year at school?

I want Simon to continue building on his social and fine motor skills and work on catching up with his gross motor skills, where I still think he’s a bit behind his peers. (Simon did not walk until he was 20 months old and still can’t jump.) I’d also like to see him learn to stand up for himself better; he’s a rather timid boy.

 

Translation: My goal is for him to have a decent time, continue to socialize, and not freak out. It’s a bit early for real goals, eh?

 

What else would you like your child’s teacher to know?

Simon is extremely sensitive and has a hard time dealing with changes. He’s also a classic observer who needs to check out a situation from the sidelines before joining in. He’s never one to jump into the fray. Finally, please note that Simon is left-handed.

 

Translation: I know he’s super sensitive and is going to cry at first. Please be patient with him. Please like him. And please don’t try to make him a righty, because that’s how my Dad’s handwriting got to be so awful.