It’s true. I played my first game of Candyland by-proxy yesterday. The shrieking player opposite me might have looked a lot like Simon, but the things that he said! Anyone reading this who knows Matt will surely recognize him in the following:
Upon receiving many one-square cards in a row: “Wa-wa-wa [trombone sound]. I keep getting the weakest cards!”
Upon landing on Princess Frostine: “Wassup, Princess?”
Upon landing on licorice and losing a turn: “Oh no! I’m stuck on licorice. I’m doomed!”
After I land on the same spot as him: “The race is on!”
After he gets sent back to the gingerbread space: “The race is not on.”
As he closes in on victory: “I’m going to win! I’m going to crush you!”
The other way I could tell I was playing with mini-Matt was his exaggerated agony (accompanied by a huge smile) when he got sent back to the gingerbread space at the beginning of the board. At the time, he was only one turn from reaching Candyland and beating me handily. In the same spot, I would have just sulked.