To yesterday’s post.
It’s Wednesday morning now, and the tennis situation just got a lot less funny. Apparently, my infractions were even worse than I knew, as today I received a blistering email from The Nicest Guy in Louisville detailing and calling me out for my multiple rule infractions. The best line, “I feel like I have to be rude to you to just to pay attention to my kids.”
Yeah, it was that bad. I feel utterly humiliated and about an inch tall.
I’m also a little shocked, as my approach to other teachers, counselors, and the like has never put me in this position. Quite the opposite in fact, unless you count my 6th grade Hebrew School Teacher and my 5th grade general teacher, both of whom loathed me.
Unfortunately, I’m still not that great at being loathed. Or humiliated. I’m not a bounce-back kind of person. So today’s note left me embarrassingly in tears and more than little rattled. I’m still shaky.
I wrote back what I hope was a dignified response and now have to decide what to do next. If it were just about me, I’d never go back. But the place is really good for Simon and he loves it. So do I suck it up for his sake and go the few times I can? Or should I write this one off as a miscommunication and personality mismatch that has escalated to the point of no return?
Seriously, Jessica? Both of these places sound RIDICULOUS. You are a paying customer, just like everyone else. If there are so many official “rules,” then give everyone a handbook. Otherwise, expect confusion. And under no circumstances is this a good way to treat a customer! You have done nothing wrong here–for heaven’s sake, how were you supposed to know?– this is their problem, not yours. If you have no other options for tennis, then you put on your best icy demeanor when you’re there and bring a book. Otherwise, I would not only be so out of there, I’d be posting a thorough review of the place online. And the junior high BS? Oh, am so over it. My 15-year-old crappy Mazda is always the smallest, saddest car in the parking lot no matter where we go, and I have to admit I get kind of a kick out of it. And let’s face it: Our amazing children are the best revenge, heh heh.
He’s a bully. He is NOT the Nicest Guy in Louisville. You cannot read minds. If this stuff isn’t given out in a memo, or posted somewhere prominent, how the hell are you supposed to know their arbitrary rules? And shaming a grown person for asking a question is just beyond the pale. Tell him to shove it. And if you are stuck there, see if Matt can take him. I bet the Not Nicest Guy in Louisville doesn’t pull that shit with him. As for the Junior League, fuck them too. Seriously, it’s sad some people never progress past junior high school.
Thank you ladies. Everyone should have friends like you. Here’s where it stands:
1. My parents both want to write him a letter and/or beat him up. I am middle-aged and they are seniors. If that doesn’t speak to the permanent protective instinct of loving parents, I don’t know what does.
2. I’m not going back. I feel like returning is a tacit admission that what he did was acceptable and that I will now be “a good girl”. I can’t win; so I’m going to stop playing.
3. We have two sessions left, and Matt is taking Simon to them. Amanda, the first words out of my mom’s mouth were that he was a power-tripping control freak who would never pull this crap on a 6′ tall man.
4. I explained all this to Simon. I told him that [redacted] liked him and was good to him. That I made some mistakes without realizing it and that Mr. [Redacted] was mean to me and hurt my feelings. That I’m obviously someone he doesn’t like, which doesn’t happen to me often but can happen to anyone at some point. And that, just like when a certain friend started being mean to him, I needed to go away and play somewhere else. I then told him I was sorry that it affected him. He was terrific.
5. For the record, the STAFF at the Junior League place was uniformly friendly, helpful, and welcoming. It was the just the other moms, so who cares? It’s pricier for sure, but my dignity is worth the cash.
Good for you! I think you handled it just right with Simon–kids do NOT like to see people be mean to their moms. I know, when my gram was in the early stages of dementia she would say awful things about my mom and I would say, if you want me to stay you will stop right now. My cousin Chris told her the same thing when she started in on my aunt. You do not be mean to moms!
Secondly, your mom is right. “Control freak” was my immediate impression, and I bet he’s really controlling with the females in his life, or at least tries. He definitely has issues, and they are not yours. And no, he wouldn’t pull that stuff with another guy, I’d bet my Derby money on it. Bullies never take on people their own size, as you know.
And finally, as long as YOU are not buying into the Junior High School League crap, by all means take Simon there. Just don’t let them make you feel less than you are, or as if you are lacking in some way. We are not, as hard as it is to remember (and believe me, I know this, I struggle with this) gawky, difficult adolescents anymore. You are a strong, good, smart, funny woman and if the mean girls can’t see that, their loss.
Oh, I never assumed it was the staff. It’s never the staff, it’s always the members.
Amanda, we would get along great! : ) : ) : )
Back atcha, darling. :-)