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Matt and I have now had Simon home for five full days, during which time–despite warnings from friends, siblings, and parents–we have been shocked by the amount of biological waste that our little one emits on a regular basis.

As Simon is a boy, we’ve endured several requisite episodes wherein the little darling pishes on us, the wall, the changing pad, and even himself. He was particularly unhappy yesterday when he pished in his own eye. We’ve already blogged about at least one diaper blow-out, which is probably one more than you wanted to read about. Added to this is the fact that it was Simon’s genetic destiny to be a world-class spitter. As our moms have reminded us more than once, I was a horrible spitter as a baby and Matt was a projectile spitter.

All of this activity has added up to quite a pile of soiled baby clothing. Like 99% of American parents, we’re washing baby clothing with Dreft because it’s gentle enough for baby’s skin and that’s what everyone told us to get. Great. But what about the stains? We need the detergent equivalent of a blow-torch to get rid of those. So I did my first “heavily soiled” load with Clorox 2, figuring I’d rewash later with Dreft and hope Simon didn’t notice. No dice–the stains barely budged and Matt and I started wondering how we could afford to clothe our child if he ruined several outfits per week.

Matt’s solution was to skip clothing and keep Simon in a diaper, tee, and swaddle wrap all day. I decided to explore better living through chemistry and had my mom buy Dreft stain remover (thanks Mom!) and picked up OxiClean baby formula while at Target. Each garment got a stain treatment with Dreft, a soak with OxiClean, and then a wash in detergent with an OxiClean booster.

Overkill, yes, but the results speak for themselves: Simon’s wardrobe is intact once more. I, however, am left with a lingering question. How is it that cleansers designed to be gentle enough for baby can so completely outperform their fully armed adult counterparts? And knowing how well this stuff works, why would I ever buy Clorox 2 again?

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