As part of my ongoing initiation into parenthood, Tuesday night I was humbled by a 5-pound mound of plastic. It’s called the ExerSaucer, and it nearly undid Simon’s Auntie Jen and mother in the assembly.
I expected the ExerSaucer Assembly to be annoying and confusing the same way build-it-yourself furniture is. I was wrong; it was much worse. With furniture, as much as “attach sides A and C to long back D using F screws and G tool” may be annoying, you at least have a clue as to what the key words mean. I know what a “side” is. I know what a “back” is. I can do this! But this sucker told you to do things like “Sticking your finger through pedestal A, guide spring B to the hook D on the base E and align the tabs on the pedestal with the slots in base E.” Huh?
After a while, just for sport, I started reading the instructions en Espanol. “Meta su dedo en el pedestal A, para guiar el resorte B al gancho D en la base y resorte este en su lugar, alinee las lenguetas del pedestal con las ranuras de la base.” Admit it. You understand the English and Spanish equally.
Now, I have no spacial capacity and am frequently flummoxed by things like this. But Jen? Jen builds houses. She drills stuff. Puts up shelves. Reconfigures walls. And she was nearly as undone by the Saucer as I was. Ostensibly, I invited her over Tuesday night for some company. She seemed amenable enough to tackling the Saucer project, as she likes to help and figured it would be easy enough. By 9:00 or so, however, Jen sensed that I had lured her over under false pretenses and was more than ready to beat a hasty retreat.
Yesterday Simon tried out the gizmo for the first time, and he looked confused but happy enough. Today he smiled right away and started playing with the toys on the tray. So I think it was worth it. And I hope Jen will agree with me. Because next summer he’ll be ready for a back-yard play set, and I’ll need “help” with that too!