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Home Alone

For the first time in the 13 ½ months Simon has been home from the hospital, I’m going to be away from him for more than 4 hours today.

Thursday has been “Grandma” day for nearly a year now, but until today Evie has always come over to watch Simon at my house. She does everything for him, so I get to work as much as I need to, but I also get the comfort of hearing their day proceed around me. And of course, I can always peek into the next room for a quick hello or kiss. Simon’s proximity is a kind of security blanket.

Today for the first time, Evie came over and picked Simon up after his breakfast. He’s going to spend the entire day at her house, and Matt and I will go over at dinner time to eat together and pick him up. I think Simon is ready. He loves his Grandma, he loves his Papaw, and he loves their house.

But am I ready? We’ll have to wait and see.

Last weekend, I brought organic whole milk and a bisphenol A-free sippy cup over to Evie’s. Last night, to prepare for the big day, I went out to restock some key grocery items and purchase a second crib aquarium. Without me or Matt around, I think he’ll need this gizmo to get himself to sleep today at nap-time.

This morning, in addition to nursing him and making him pancakes, I also loaded up everything he might possibly want to eat into a bag, packed up another bag with clothing changes and a day’s worth of Fuzzi Bunz, made sure Dirty Duck and a paci were packed, and threw in a padded pack-and-play mattress cover for good measure. If Evie had driven over with her larger truck, she might have ended up with our pack-and-play just to be on the safe side.

They were out the door by 9:45, and I was looking around my strangely empty house by 10:30. By 11:15, I was listening carefully for sounds that Simon was getting up from his morning nap. And by noon, I was thinking about lunch, thinking about the fact that I would not be preparing Simon’s lunch, and was telling myself that I did not, did not, DID NOT, need to call Evie to make sure all is well. Because I will not, will not, WILL NOT be that kind of mother.

Unless, of course, packing up three day’s worth of food, sleeping equipment, and two back-up pacifiers already makes me that kid of mother.

Epilogue: As I type this now, it’s 10:00 p.m. and Simon is asleep upstairs. His day went fine, he had a good time, and I stayed off the phone. I think Simon and I can both be proud.

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