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Howlers

I’m feeling lazy and so will wrap this week with a list of some pretty funny quotes. All but the last are from Simon.

Upon playing the souk game just after a bath, in his birthday suit:

“I come into the souk with my penis”

A brief dialog about clouds:

Simon: “What’s that?”

Me: “Those are clouds. You can watch them move across the sky.”

Simon: “Clouds up in the sky. Clouds moving. Clouds go to the airport.”

Upon falling and bumping his head:

“I fell down and broke my crown.”

Upon being told that his green car is “kelly green.”

“Kelly green car. [picks up red car] Kelly red. [picks up yellow car] “Kelly yellow. [picks up black car] Kelly black…”

Dialog with my mother:

“You little monkey.”

“I’m not a monkey, I’m a boy!”

[two days later] “I’m a monkey-boy.”

And finally, a non-Simon quote. My step-mom, Ruth, just returned from a painting retreat where she’s working on a portrait of me. Ruth is about 5’6″, has a medium build, is of Scottish and German descent, and has a broad face wide set, green eyes, fair skin, and blond hair. Actual exchange from her retreat:

Fellow painter: “Who’s the subject?”

Ruth: [keeping it simple] “It’s my daughter, Jessica.”

Fellow painter: “Oh, of course, she looks just like you.”

And except for, uh, my eye color and shape, hair color and texture, facial structure, skin tone, height, and shape I am, indeed, a dead ringer for her.

Man people really want to see a resemblance between parents and children, especially those of the same sex. Having said that, Simon really does look a lot like Matt…

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