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What Really Goes On

Now that we get more than “Jillian cried” when we ask Simon about school, we’re talking more about it with mixed and funny results. This has been at the fore of our conversations even though school has been out for 2 weeks now.

I now know, for example, who sits on what animal at circle time. Simon has the elephant. Gabrielle the hippo. Isabella the butterfly. Griffen the turtle. And Anieya has the monkey, which is funny, because everything about monkeys is funny in our house. Jillian sits on a fish, but the butterfly is her favoite (I’m thinking she must wear them a lot). Isabella also likes butterflies, we are told, possibly becuase she sits on one. While Griffen likes octopuses. But not because he sits on one. Thus, the provenance of the octopus-liking remains unknown.

In computer class (!) they play games. In music class before break Ms. Inessa sang the dreidel song. During the last Shabbat service Ms. Sharon (AKA Cantor Hordes, AKA Leah’s Mommy) sang happy birthday to Elijah. A while ago Ms. Sharon sang to Simon. And Rachel. He reminded us that he shares his birthday week with his old dance partner and classmate.

Ms. Jill, meanwhile, reads to the class and sits on her chair. But Ms. Judy does not sit down. She takes people down the hall and–direct quote here–“cleans my [Simon’s] butt. Poor Ms. Judy.

And sometimes in class things don’t go so well. Sometimes kids run off, throw fits, and otherwise misbehave. Here’s an intriguing but not terribly enlightening conversation I had with Simon about time outs. All names changed.

Simon: “Amelia got time-out. She cried really¬† hard and she got time out.”

Me: “Did she get time-out for crying?”

Simon: Amelia hit Josephine. He cried really hard. He got time out.”

Me: “Have you ever gotten a time-out?” (knowing full well about the licking incident)

Simon: “No. I didn’t get a time out. Amelia got a time out.”

Me: “So you haven’t had a time-out?”

Simon: “I had a time-out. I got mad and throwed the bead necklace. It breaked, and I got time-out.”

Me:¬† “Oh, you were angry and you threw the bead necklace maybe?”

Simon: “Noooooo… I didn’t throw it. Owen did.”

Me: “So did Owen get the time out?”

Simon: “No. I breaked the necklace and got time out.”

I asked his teachers,for the sake of clearing up the record, and they say someone broke the necklace, maybe even “Owen”, but definitely not Simon.

And that’s the way it is. About half the news that’s fit to print, told to me with about 50% accuracy. Or, as I like to think of it, three-year-old style.

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