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This Toy is Not a Toy

One of the unintended consequences of Simon’s love of British kids shows is that he asks for quite a few toys that don’t exist, or at least don’t exist in the US for a reasonable price. Just two weeks ago we had several frustrating (for him) conversations about why I could not go out and by a jail to put Sly and Gobbo (characters in Noddy) into. I found Sly on eBay, but until I can round up a Gobbo, this wish will go unfulfilled. And I don’t even want to think about the shipping costs!

This week I got luckier. While watching Kipper, Simon became entranced by one of the character’s toy mouse. Forthwith, he demanded, and then pled, that we go to the store and buy Kipper’s toy mouse with wheels on it.

“Really?” I said. “You want a toy mouse with wheels on it?”

“I do! I do! I do!” he replied, mixing his TV imitations. (Noddy often says things like “I will! I will! I will!”)

“OK, buddy. Hop in the car.”

And so we drove to Target, headed directly to the “Cat supplies and toy” aisle, and found a perfect little toy mouse with wheels on it and ribbons for a tail for a grand total of $4.99.

I asked him if it’s what he wanted, but he was too busy squealing with joy to give an articulate reply. He joyfully clasped the (cat) toy all the while to check-out, excitedly told the (confused) clerk that we were getting “Kipper’s toy mouse with wheels on it”, and clutched his new rodent friend to his bosom all the way home.

Upon arrival, I immediately discovered that the toy rolled very fast indeed and that—suprisingly—my son was more into the toy than my cats. Perhaps at 78 and 84 in human years, they have simply put aside such childish things. Then I spotted some small text on the tag:

“Not intended for children.”

Ceci n'est pas une cat jouet

Says who? I’m going to assume they mean that in a not-tested-for-choking-hazard kind of way, and not in a made- entirely-of-lead-and-cadmium way.

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