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Choice Quotes

In the last two weeks, as Matt and I have begun to acclimate to our pet-less lives, we were gifted with some moments of levity courtesy of Simon. Herewith, a sampler:

“Daddy. When Mommy sees how good I trace my letters, she’s going to plotz!”

In fact, I did. But I may have plotzed more over his use of the Yiddish word than I did his very good letter tracing. He also calls his thighs pulkes, which makes me smile. And for the record, he only learned one of these Yiddish words from me; the other came from Matt. (You thought I’d say my mother, didn’t you?)

“I don’t know, Daddy, this show is kind of weird”

That was Simon’s assessment of a TV show that Matt characterized the exact same way in the exact same tone. He’s beginning to sound so much like us that it hurts. Sometimes, such as here, it’s really, really funny. Other times? Not so much:

“Daddy, if you say that one more time, I’ll put you on the roof!” or “Daddy, if you say that again, it’s time-out city!”

This imitation is less flattering. We are beginning to see shades of the mini adolescence that is four. I am so not looking forward to that! Then there are the quotes that indicate he’s learned something I didn’t know about or that give us a glimpse into his day. Quotes like:

“[said while holding dinosaur bath toy] This is a stegosaurus. It has a hard plate on its back.”


“I was the line-leader at school today. I had to be very quiet.”


“I fell down playing with Baron and Braylon. Baron can get a little out of control.”

Then there is preschool verbal logic. If you go to the store for food because you are “running low”, this must work for everything you need, right? Simon assumes so, and thus he explained to me:

“Mommy, we’re running low on hot-wheels. I think we need to go to the store and get some.”

Alas, not all of our quotes were funny. Friday a week ago, one week to the day after we had to put Percival down, was pet day at school. All the children were encouraged to bring their favorite stuffed animal to class and to be ready to talk about their real pets at home. We sent Simon with funny pictures of Percy and Tristan (with our friends Ian and Tim) when everyone involved was much younger. I asked Simon what he told his friends at circle time, and this is what he reported:

“I told them that Percy was really sweet. I liked to pet him. And Tristan is playful and the worst—and  the best! And they were both really old and their kidneys broke and they had to go to the doctor.”

That sums things up pretty tidily. But poor Ms. Shana and Ms. Tammy. I can’t imagine where the discussion went after that one!

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