Last night, Simon wanted to eat at what should have been bedtime. I tried to put him off. He tried to sound desperate. I parried with equal force. Then he opted to curry favor with flattery:
Hey Daphne. Can you hook me up with some peanut butter?
As a friend noted, I am, always was, and always will be the Velma. Amusingly, in a parallel bid to get Matt to take him to the video store to get a DVD of Return of the Jedi, Simon called Matt Fred. I don’t have to explain that he’s the Shaggy, do I?
I fear that I have created a monster with my birthday present.