Behold a crude mapping of what I have sussed out as the brain organization of one Simon W. Whitworth. So far as I can tell, his brain features four major lobes:
The Baby Kitten Lobe: This part of the brain is responsible for Simon’s alter ego since I can’t remember how long ago, Baby Kitten. Years ago, when Simon got too tired to think or walk, he turned into Baby Kitten. These days, he turns into Baby Kitten when he wants to slide down the stairs on his belly or do something else that’s silly. Baby Kitten also now has a brother, Kitty, who is a bit older and is a great soccer player. This brings me to:
The Soccer Lobe: This part of the brain—which I should have mapped to the pink/purple lobe as it’s clearly the largest and most developed lobe—is in charge of all things soccer. It wants Simon to play soccer, write about playing soccer, watch others playing soccer, and even dream about soccer.
The Space Facts Lobe: Clearly Simon’s favorite science topic, the space facts lobe warehouses information about atmospheric layers (which I’m supposed to paint in the attic play-room), space flights, the planets and dwarf planets, the brightest stars, and the age and size of the universe. If possible, these things are all ranked and measured by size, temperature, and distance from the Earth. Such analysis is hugely informed by:
The Math Lobe: The Higgs boson of Simon’s world. Everything in Simon’s word relates to a number or comparison between numbers. Everything. The cuneiform I’ve been showing him pictures of is “3000 BCE writing” or “800 BCE writing.” Abraham Lincoln is the 16th President. He will be 6 1/2 in just over two weeks. Numbers, numbers, everywhere.
So what happens when these lobes overlap? Here’s what happens:
“Mommy, guess what? Baby kitten just made a bicycle kick all the way to the other side of the universe. He must have been, like, a Googolplex yards outside the box.”
Who else but Simon would say such a thing?