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His Happiest Moment

Presented with parenthetical commentary by yours truly, Simon’s most recent school essay.

My First Turniment Goal

By Simon Whitworth

Last weekend I went to a soccer tournament. (Or thee months ago. Same diff.) The soccer tournament was a 2 hour drive to Cincinnati with my mom and dad.

The game was really early. The game started at 8:00. Then the game finally started. After the first half it was 5 to 1. (against his team, making me question how “happy” this event could have been.)

Then after 5 minutes the 2nd half started. One second it was a goal punt, a kid named Sciles (Silas) past (passed) it to me. It was just me and the goalie . . . (The kid loves ellipses almost as much as I love parentheses. Credit to him for deploying them correctly here.)

I gave it a toe poke and the ball rolled across the line. I can’t believe I made it.

It was the happiest moment in my life. The End.

(And that’s a wrap. Birthdays, a running trophy, a soccer trophy, holidays, you name it. None of them can compare with the joy of scoring his first goal in a tournament, even if his team went on to lose three games straight in a land-slide. I’m especially confused because this same child went upstairs last night in tears because I beat him at a game of . . . . Twister. Finally, I suspect the day is coming soon when Ms. Ray instructs Simon that he simply must write a personal narrative about something/anything other than soccer.)

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