They say you never know when the last time you nurse your baby will be, but I’m pretty sure that New Year’s Day was it for us.
Simon abruptly cut down to twice a day shortly after his first birthday. From around Thanksgiving, he further reduced his nursing to a single morning session. Lately, his enthusiasm for even that has faded. New Year’s day he hardly stayed on long enough to get more than few drops of milk, yesterday he may not have even done that, and today he turned his attention elsewhere almost immediately.
I think I’ll handle this much better than the original slowdown. For starters, the writing has been on the wall for over two months that the end was near. There’s also the fact that my hormones have adjusted to the change, so I’ve already dealt with the depression and temporary insanity resulting from alterations to my endocrine system. And the final factor is that I’m sufficiently busy worrying over Tristan* right now that I don’t have the energy to get worked up about weaning, too.
As I stated before, there are many benefits to weaning for me. I can travel for work now without taking the whole family with me. I can run errands and be gone longer than two hours. Matt and I can go out at night if we have a sitter. Evie and Jim can enjoy Simon at their house all day Thursday. That part is all good.
But there are also significant downsides. Simon isn’t getting an immunity boost from me any more, and I’m not getting a regular oxytocin rush. And to be less of a scientific reductionist, I’m not getting my regular quiet snuggle time with Simon, accompanied by long loving stares, my patting his back and bottom, and his patting my face. I have to say that, for me, nursing was a singularly sweet experience, and I know I’ll feel misty for what was every time I see a mother nursing her baby from now on.
It’s times like these that I think about the aphorism “All good things must come to an end” and lament its truth even as I am forced to acknowledge it.
* As of this morning, Tristan has been home about 36 hours, seems to be eating and drinking well, and has been resting comfortably, playing, and purring/demanding affection in the house. So far so good.