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The Missing Gem Series

Simon has reeled off some truly amazing lines of late. Thing is, he’s reeled them out for Matt, and Matt has begun to feel weird about posting on “my blog”. It wasn’t supposed to be “my blog”, but my blog it has become.

So I’m going to dole these out one or two at a time, and invite Matt to chime in and correct me or add context. We’ll begin with something Simon said that we both fear could result in Child Protective Services showing up at our door. An advance disclaimer: Simon has never, ever, heard anything even remotely similar to this come out of any of our mouths. We don’t spank in our house. We don’t hit. We are a pretty pacifist crowd.

And yet, during a wrestling match Simon looked up at Matt and said:

Daddy, I’m hitting you, but I love you.

This fits right in with his new perception of parental gender roles. Mommies are for playing and snuggling. Daddies are for playing and getting kind of violent. Which brings me to my second quote of the day.

Mommy’s a great girl. And Grandma, and Bubbie, and Nana, and Aunt Tia, and Aunt Stacy. But we’re bad boys. We kick our friends.

For the record, to date, I have not received a single report of Simon’s getting physical at school. Clearly though, in his imaginary life, Simon isĀ  a force to be reckoned with.

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