Feed on

Being a boy and being four and a half, Simon often does not want to stop whatever fun he’s having to attend to something as boring as his bladder. He’s got races to run, Superheroes to join, and bad guys to vanquish! Thus, he will dance around and grab at himself, all the while explaining that “the pee isn’t in my bladder yet”, often suggesting it’s still in his leg, side. or other medically improbable location. Matt and I find ourselves arguing with him over whether he needs to to the bathroom or even try to go to the bathroom daily. His insistence can get pretty violent, and has twice led him to pee his pants when mind could not win out over matter.

Matt and I were both growing tired of the situation. I wondered how long we’d have to wait and/or how many accidents Simon would need to have before he’d stop arguing and start heading to the loo. Matt decide that some medical education was in order, something I discovered when Dr. Simon explained the following to me:

“If you hold your pee too long, you get a bladder infection and have to go the doctor. They stick a tube up your penis and it hurts really bad and you go OW OW OWIE ARGH AAAAHHHHH!

That last part was accompanied by wild flailing and dramatic hand gestures. Notably, at dinner out with friends tonight Matt asked Simon if he needed to use the restroom and Simon said yes. No fight at all, and he wasn’t even doing the pee dance yet.

3 Responses to “Dr. Simon Explains It All”

  1. goldsteinrita says:

    Matt has the most wonderful ability to give Simon logical reasons for certain behavior (or non-behavior) such as this one and the one about not describing in detail his sickness issues. I wish I could have had a Matt type when I was raising you and the bros. My life and yours would have been easier.

  2. blg says:

    I agree with your mom…Matt is wonderful. Down to earth and smart. Why don’t you marry that guy?

  3. Amanda says:

    My cousin Chris did exactly the same thing when he was Simon’s age. He’s now 25 and apparently doesn’t pee his pants anymore, so don’t lose hope, lol.

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