Dear Fashion Industry,
Thank you from the bottom of my heart for producing such (for me, anyway) unwearable clothes for the last two seasons.
For those short, baggy shorts that resemble a diaper unless you are six feet tall? Thank you.
For the empire and trapeze tops that make every woman between 30 and 45 look pregnant? Thank you.
For the shoes that look like bear traps, especially toeless boots that leave you frostbitten during the winter and/or blistered in the summer? Thank you.
For the winter cardigans that do not close? Thank you.
For the thick wool sweaters cut low and wide on the neck? Or, alternatively the ones whose short, belled sleeves won’t fit under a coat? Thank you.
For the increasing insistence on including angora, a substance that makes me itch immediately upon contact, in 90% of winter knitwear? Thank you.
For the assumption that all petites are either squeezing into juniors sizes or are over 80. Yes, thank you once again.
Because of you and your unfortunate recent lines, I found it much easier to give up “my little shopping habit” than I ever dreamed possible.
Bless you each and every one. Keep up the good work!
And to all of you gainfully employed, tall, tan, warm-natured, non-allergic women aged 18 to 35, I salute you. You can shop for both of us.
Sincerely Yours,
A (mostly) Reformed Shopper
I love Empire waists, sorry Jess.
Hey Amanda,
On a dress or gown? Me too. On a top with the right cut? Maybe for me if it’s slim; maybe for others. On a cardigan sweater? In theory, possibly. But the stuff I’ve been seeing is short and flowy, the proportions are off, and everyone is looking short and wide, the exact opposite of what an empire line is supposed to do. Maybe everyone is just failing to identify the right fit.
Dress or gown, yes definitely. I can do tops, because my chest is so big it negates the pregnant look. But I bet you could do a empire top if it were cut well–I just saw Harry Potter and Emma Watson had some lovely things like that on, and she’s more your shape. But they have to be cut well (and thus probably expensive as well).