Kid Amnesiac

Today, Friday the 13th, was my last day at work until January 2. I haven’t been away for more than a week at a time in five years, since I started my job in August 2001.

It’s a terribly odd feeling–not at all what I expected. I’ve transfered my projects (and boy was THAT a lot of work), introduced the freelancer covering for me to my authors, wrapped up proposals, and said my temporary goodbyes to colleagues. And yet, this Friday night, I’m still thinking of all the little things I’d like to do next week and generally fretting as though I’ll be back next week the same as ever.

Not sure if this means I’m a creature of habit, obsessive compulsive, or just in denial about the changes coming my way. Lots of folks suggested I take time off before my due date to relax, but I think I’ll be happy when this liminal time is over and I’m off to my next all-consuming venture.

I’ve been knitting off and on since 1990. One thing that always inspires me to pick up my needles is the impending or recent birth of a baby. To date, all of my nieces and nephews have a hand-knit baby blanket from me.

For my nephew Nathan (now 12), I knitted a yellow lace chevron blanket that was the first project I ever finished.

When Olivia came along (now nearly eight), I got ambitious and decided to try my hand at intarsia, or picture knitting. The afghan turned out fine, but I learned I hated intarsia and the project about killed me.

Madeline (5 1/2) and Benjamin (4) both got afghans I designed myself after being inspired by Barbara Walker’s books on knitting patterns. They were both a blast to work on.

So what masterpiece awaits Baby Whozit? Oops. I flopped for my own baby! After toying with several yarns and a dozen patterns, nothing inspired me. But I had to have something for Whozit, and the clock was ticking down…

So I spent the last couple of weeks knitting up a quick sweater, which turned out to be much fun, and now awaits only a monogram in the center diamond to complete. This is perfect, as I know I wouldn’t have had time to do a size 3 months sweater after the baby arrives, but I’d feel slightly superstitious about finishing something before the baby comes, too.

Last month, I had a baby shower hosted by my sisters-in-law Stacy and Tia. I was a little worried at the outset that my brand of humor (I did call Whozit a parasite at one point…) would not go over well with the shower crowd, but I shouldn’t have. One look at those cute hooded bath towels, blankets, Lamaze toys, bouncy seats, tiny socks, the basinette shaped cake, etc. and I was in total cooing over baby-to-be mode.

I expected to have fun at my shower, but not as much as I did. First of all, the little greed monster within could not help but be overwhelmed and delighted by the sheer volume of stuff I received. It took a couple of cars and a truck to haul everything home. But the real treat was realizing how much family Whozit is going to grow up with. Because I waited a relatively long time to have a baby, I always assumed my child’s extended family would be smaller than mine. Not so.

I counted three grandmothers, two aunts, four great-aunts, and several honorary aunts in attendance, most of whom are home full or half-time. And that’s not counting the grandfathers (two), uncles (three regular, two great, one great-great), or first cousins (four) who also also live within 20 minutes of us. Kiddo is going to have a full family life, and I couldn’t be happier to know there will so many people for baby to love and be loved by.

Matt and I are very aware that pregnancy and new parenthood can make couples hideously self-absorbed. “We won’t be like that,” we promised ourselves. “We’ll talk about other things; we’ll remember the whole world doesn’t revolve around us; we’ll be better than those other couples.”

Or not. Yesterday dear friends in San Francisco called to check in on us. Mid-conversation, in an attempt to fulfill this pledge, I remembered that half of this couple is turning 40 this year. It’s a landmark birthday and something I had planned to appropriately celebrate.

So, I say, “Hey, this is a big year for you, too. You turn the big 4-0 this September, right?” Pause. “Oh my God, it’s October. We totally missed your birthday.” Worse still, Matt realizes he called a mutual friend during this person’s birthday party and still didn’t connect the dots.

This does not bode well for us, I fear. Next month our niece Olivia turns 8. Let’s hope we snap out of it in time to remember.

Before I got pregnant, I assumed the hardest part about being pregnant would be the morning sickness, the back pain, the fatigue, etc. You know, the pregnancy part. Not so. For me–who admittedly has been blessed with no morning sickness, no back pain, and little fatigue during this pregnancy–the hardest part has been sorting through the information, misinformation, studies, and critiques of studies over just about every aspect of pregnancy you can imagine. If you have any tendencies towards scientific reductionism when it comes to making decisions, stay away from pregnancy!

A few dillies to consider:

1. Will an epidural delay my labor or increase my odds of having a C-section? Well, depending on what study you read, the answer is one of the following:

a. Not if you wait until you are at least 5 cm. dialated.

b. Yes on both counts.

c. No. Even if you have the epidural in early labor.

2. Is amniocentesis risky?

a. Yes, there is a slight risk of miscarriage (about .5-1%) following amniocentesis.

b. No, the miscarriage rate following amniocentesis is about the same as for any other second trimester woman: correlation is not causation.

c. No, women who have amniocentesis are slightly less likely to miscarry than those who do not have the procedure. (presumably because having amniocentesis is an index of receiving better prenantal care)

3. Will breastfeeding increase my infant’s IQ?

A. Yes. But that’s because of the DHA in breastmik, and new formulas include it. So subject to change.

B. Yes. And the DHA in formulas is not as good as the DHA in breastmilk.

C. No. Mothers who breastfeed are simply more likely to be better educated than mothers who do not, that education correlates to higher IQs, and IQ is inherited. (Link to study–props to Matt for guessing that one!)

If you think books–even good ones like the Mayo guide are a big help sorting through this morass–you’d be wrong. I’ve noticed two trends in all printed material about pregnancy and delivery. The first is to shoot towards the conservative, law-suit avoiding extreme. For example. If a study shows that women who consume over 300 mg of caffeine a day (the equivalent of six cups of coffee) are slightly more likely to deliver a baby with low birthweight, you would expect the literature to advise “minimal caffeine intake.” You’d be wrong. The literature instead states “it’s best, of course, to avoid caffeine entirely.” Well, to heck with that! I’m enjoying a lovely cup of mango Ceylon tea (loose leaf, with caffeine) even as I type.

And the second trend is to present totally contradictory, unhelpful information and then attach the tagline “Only you and your doctor know what’s best for your pregnancy and your baby” at the end. What a cop out! If that’s the case, why did I pay $24.99 for a stupid book to tell me what’s best for me and my baby?

Stay tuned for my tirade about whose advice to follow regarding sleep, pacifiers, schedules, introducing solids, etc.

Today was my second weekly visit to the OBGYN here in the homestretch. I’m due two weeks from Sunday, and today I got some exciting news.

I am 50% effaced and the baby is at what they call the zero station–any lower and I’d be in active labor. So Baby Whozit is ready to go at pretty much any time and is in the correct position to do so. Best of all, it seems my little bambino/a is going to weigh in at around six pounds, meaning that Whozit is appropriately sized for me and I have no reason to expect a C-Section at this time.

My doc, who I love, thinks I might well go a little early. So this weekend I’m going to pack my bags and get some more work items transfered to the person standing in for me. I just hope all this preparation doesn’t end up jinxing me. I *really* don’t want to know what it’s like to be 42 weeks pregnant.